But if we surround ourselves with high-output positive psychology geeks, we’ll become that, too. If we surround ourselves with "pizza and sports" people, that’s very likely what we will become. We take a lot of cues regarding who we are and should be, and how we should behave, from those we spend the most time with. Surround yourself with high achievers, not happiness addicts. But at the end of the day, none of that gets me closer to the accomplishment of any of my fulfillment goals. I can sit on the couch all day eating Cheetos and watching Love Island and feel perfectly happy. Most things that make me feel happy do not lead me toward accomplishing what I need to get done. Happiness is a distraction from fulfillment. Discipline is a skill, and it can be learned. Discipline is the ability to choose what you do regardless of how you feel (whether it makes you happy or not). It shows up as a momentary initiative to do something that might benefit you, but then quickly fades under the weight of fear, apathy or doubt. Motivation gets you to the starting line discipline gets you to the finish line. In a world focused on happiness, what does it mean to live a fulfilling life? What does it mean to have a fulfilling career? Here are a few lessons I’ve learned. And this dedication and discipline are what I think we’re missing in our pursuit of career happiness. When my friends were in the club, I was burning the midnight oil to meet a self-imposed deadline. In my 20s, when my friends were on the beach, I was in the library. I had to challenge myself to work when no one was looking. thesis, has been about 20% joy and roughly 80% really hard work 80% of everything that has led to my fulfilling life did not make me happy. Pretty much anything that’s been fulfilling in my life, whether raising a child or submitting a Ph.D. Happy.Ĭome to think of it, there’s a Pareto Principle at work in my memories of these fulfilling life events. when I’m alone, again, in my office researching something for an upcoming book with no one cheering me on the hundredth time I’ve asked my teenage son to clean his room the stress of not knowing if I’ll make this month’s payroll for my employees.
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